


To The Moon and Back

by Asteria_Selene



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27278290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asteria_Selene/pseuds/Asteria_Selene
Summary: He didn't want to believe it— he wanted to believe that it was all a misunderstanding, but the look on Kei's face as their eyes met told him everything he needed to know, confirmed all the dreaded thoughts lingering at the back of his head.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 69





	1. In a blink of an eye

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! This is the first chapter of "To The Moon and Back" :>>> Happy reading!

"I'm...too late."

Yamaguchi had walked through the seemingly endless rows of lights and signs, his eyes carefully looking for a certain store. The mall seemed to be more crowded than usual, the chatter of people loud in his ears. He slowly weaves through the crowd, careful not to hit anybody.

Finally, after a few more minutes of walking, he found the store he was looking for, but a sign on the door says "on break". Yamaguchi lets out a tired sigh. "After all that walking, I didn't make it...."

The boy stared at the sign, as if he could will the employees to show up if he stared long enough.

...

A rumble comes from Yamaguchi's stomach, making the boy chuckle out of surprise. "Well— time for lunch, I guess?"

The green-haired boy starts to walk towards him and Kei's favorite restaurant, Anima.

—

Yamaguchi went to the mall to buy a present for Tsukishima. Their anniversary is coming up, and Yamaguchi felt like he needed to make this year a bit more special. He wanted to give Tsukki a ring, or maybe have couple rings for them both. Yamaguchi loved the idea that they would always be connected, somehow— he loves Kei that much.

—

Yamaguchi slowed his pace down as he saw the familiar sign— an insignia of a bird, a phoenix, perhaps? He wasn't quite sure, really. He and Kei used to debate over what that actually was, but until now they haven't come up with a definite answer.

Yamaguchi's eyes crinkled with delight at the memory of nights full of teasing banter and laughter, of sweet kisses and half-assed post-argument apologies.

When he looked around the establishment for a table, he saw a familiar blob of blonde, unruly hair. Tsukki?

Yamaguchi stopped in his tracks and squinted his eyes. "Hmmm, definitely him," he hums to himself. And he has someone with him. Yamaguchi could never mistake anyone else for that bedhead— it was Kuroo-san, Tsukishima's subordinate from work.

...but why are they together?...

A wave of paranoia and anxiety washed over Yamaguchi, his feet seemingly glued to the floor underneath him. "Must be a work thing..." He reassured himself. And they seemed to be having fun, seeing Tsukki smile like that.

Yamaguchi makes a move to approach them, but he stops dead in his tracks as Kuroo reaches out for Tsukki's hand. Kuroo brings Tsukishima's hand to his lips, kissing each knuckle delicately. Yamaguchi's thoughts start to scramble in his head, his anxiety intensifying.

_Kei, pull your hand away._

_Kei, you don't love him like that, do you?_

_Pull your hand away._

But Tsukki did the exact opposite; the blonde looked at his companion with the look Yamaguchi thought was only for him: one full of love and affection. The same look that made Yamaguchi's heart flutter, that made him feel loved and appreciated. It was the same look his man was giving to a person that wasn't him.

Tadashi felt his stomach drop, and his eyes threatening to spill the pooling tears he didn't even notice before. The sight hurt so much, but his eyes are glued to the scene, his feet unmoving. He stood there for what felt like an eternity, until suddenly, Tsukishima met his gaze. Yamaguchi flinched, and Tsukki's face turned blanched and pale.

He didn't want to believe it— he wanted to believe that it was all a misunderstanding, that Tsukki will come home and explain everything to him. But the look on Kei's face as their eyes met told him everything he needed to know, confirmed all the dreaded thoughts lingering at the back of his head.

Yamaguchi's brain goes into autopilot. The boy turned on his heels and briskly walked out the restaurant, forgetting about the hunger he felt. He started walking aimlessly, desperate to get away— he was overwhelmed by the waves of emotion crashing against him. He wanted to cry and break down in the middle of the busy street, but he needed to keep it together.

"Just a bit more, Tadashi..." he murmured quietly to himself.

He couldn't understand.

_Why, Kei?_

_Was I not enough?_

_Didn't you say you loved me?_

_Why didn't you tell me?_

_Where did I go wrong?_

His once silent thoughts became screams, playing in his head again and again.

Before he knew it, he was at their apartment door. As the boy walks in, he is once again reminded of everything he and Tsukki shared, and every memory felt like a dagger piercing through him. He wiped the lone tear that escaped his eye, and headed to the bedroom.

—

Packing his things took more time than he expected. He was silently crying through the entire ordeal, waterfalls of anguished tears streaking down his face. All his bags were neatly arranged beside the doorway. He didn't have a car, and so he called his sister, and told her about the entire situation. Hana-chan, being a caring person, immediately agreed to pick her brother up. But it seemed like she would be a bit late, and every moment of waiting made Yamaguchi more restless.

"You know what I need?" The boy asked the emptiness of the apartment, as if expecting someone to answer him.

"A can of beer."


	2. Letting Go?

Tsukishima dreaded coming home that afternoon, afraid of the confrontation, or whatever might happen.

He saw Tadashi's face fall at the sight of him and Tetsu. He tried to call after him, but his body froze right at that moment, feeling strong punches of guilt as he saw his childhood friend walk out the restaurant.

He knew the risk of his relationship with Kuroo. Tadashi was bound to find out sooner or later, Tsukki knew. But knowing didn't ease the heavy guilt he felt.

As he approached their apartment, he expected light to shine out of the gap under the door, but there was none— it looked like Tadashi wasn't home, after all. Tsukki could still prepare for the confrontation they were going to have, that is, if Yamaguchi hasn't left.

Tsukki stands in front of the door for a few moments, the doorknob cold in his hands. He gets his keys and turns the knob, but the door was...open?

His heart started beating faster, his adrenaline spiking. Could somebody have broken in?

Tsukishima stood there, bracing himself for whoever might have broken in. He swung the door open, anticipating to see somebody, but what he saw was not what he expected.

Tadashi was on the floor, empty cans of beer surrounding him. He fell asleep, it seems, his hair a mess and his clothes wrinkled.

Tsukki notices the bags near the doorway, and his heart stops at the realization— he's really leaving.

The silence of the apartment was broken by a groan from Yamaguchi. The green-haired boy takes a moment to register Tsukishima's presence in the room, and when he recognizes the blonde, his mouth curls into a sneer, his eyes glazed and unfocused.

"Ah, Tsukki...how was your date with Kuroo-san?"

Tsukishima's heart clenched at the other boy's statement. He was so used to Yamaguchi being sweet and comforting, and it hurt to hear such bitterness in his voice.

"Tsukki, don't stay silent— tell me the details!" Yamaguchi started again, sarcasm coating his words. "It looked like you were having so much fun, you know! I didn't want to intrude, so I left."

Tsukki was stunned into silence. Usually, he was going the one with snide remarks, he was the sarcastic bastard between the two of them. Tadashi's current state put him at a loss for words, his brain scrambling over what to say.

"Tadashi, I'm sorry—"

"Sorry? You're sorry, Tsukishima?"

Tsukki flinched at the use of his last name. Yamaguchi never called him that, until now. It had always been "Tsukki".

"You're sorry? Really?" Yamaguchi scoffed. "People told me you were a jerk, but I knew that wasn't the case— I've known you since we were kids, after all! But wow, your audacity astounds me. Tell me, Tsukishima," the edge in his voice sharper as he says his lover's name, "are you really sorry? What are you guilty for? For cheating on me? For lying to me? For lying to yourself? We both know that's absurd. If you were really sorry, you wouldn't have pursued that relationship!" Yamaguchi's voice breaks, and his tears start flowing again. The alcohol destroyed whatever filter was in his brain, and he started pouring his heart out. "I love you, Tsukki— and I thought you loved me too. I-I- I thought—"

Yamaguchi takes a shaky breath to calm himself just a bit, to get his thoughts in order again.

"Why didn't you tell me, Tsukki?"

Tadashi's sobs fill the silence as Tsukishima fails to think of an answer.

"TELL ME!" Yamaguchi slams his hands at the table, making Tsukishima flinch.

"Tell me, Tsukki, why?" He asks a moment later, his voice soft and quiet this time.

Tsukki tried to fumble for an answer, but his voice seemed to have left him.

"I...I didn't want to hurt you—" he starts, but Yamaguchi cuts him off again.

"To protect me? To 'not hurt me'?" Yamaguchi says, the sarcasm even thicker this time.

"How noble, Tsukishima-san."

Tsukishima's eyes stay glued to the floor. He can't seem to meet Yamaguchi's eyes, the guilt weighing down on him like heavy lead in his stomach.

"See how well that worked out for you, huh?"

The room was once again filled with silence, except for the small swishes of beer as Yamaguchi takes a sip from the can.

Tsukishima feels tears pooling in his eyes. Yamaguchi, his bubbly and cheerful best friend, was now reduced to this broken, sobbing mess— and it was his fault.

"Well, Tsukishima, now I know. I'll move out now— you're free! It must've been agonizing to put up with my shit when you had a better lover to take care of! I'm so sorry for getting in your way!" Yamaguchi starts laughing, the sound full of bitterness and anguish.

Tsukishima's tears fall, streaks shining under the soft rays of the setting sun streaming through the window.

"Yamaguchi, I-I'm sorry— I- I don't—" The taller boy squeezed his eyes shut, head turned down.

Tadashi’s laughter died down, slowly becoming silent sobs once more.

"Shhh, Tsukki."

Yamaguchi's voice was soft now— not a trace of the sarcasm and bitterness to be found.

Tsukishima looks up, finally meeting Yamaguchi's eyes. His own golden orbs were met by Yamaguchi's tear stained eyes, a sad smile now on his face.

Just then, Yamaguchi's phone vibrates in his pocket. The boy takes it out to check the message. "Oh— neesan is here."

Yamaguchi walked to the small pile of bags, and carried them out. Tsukishima wants to stop him, but he knows he has no right— not after what he did. His eyes silently followed Yamaguchi's motions as he moved across the room, fondness making his chest warm and fuzzy, but that fondness felt like a distant memory, and it has a sad twinge of nostalgia to it.

Tsukishima was brought out of his reverie as Yamaguchi calls out to him. The green-haired boy pauses for a while at the doorway.

A sad smile on his tear-stained face and a small wave, then Yamaguchi walks out the room, the door softly closing in his wake.

"Goodbye, Kei." 


	3. From who?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mysterious package arrives at Tsukishima's doorstep.

Tsukishima hasn’t heard anything from Yamaguchi for years now. But that was understandable— what he did to him was near unforgivable. In his foolishness he lost his best friend and family, and the guilt still lurks at the back of his mind.

Until today.

—

"A package delivery for Mr..... Tsukishima Kei!"  His features scrunched up in confusion. A package? But I wasn't expecting anything...

"Oi, Tetsu, did you order things under my name again?"

"No? Why?"

"There's a package delivery for me..."

"Well— check it out then!"

"Tetsu I swear to God if this is one of those stupid toys you ordered under my name I'll kick you out of the house."  Kuroo's hysterical laughter echoed through the whole apartment. "Tsukki, that was ONE time. And besides, you did enjoy it, didn't you?"  Tsukishima rolls his eyes in disbelief, unable to think of a retort. He opens the door to a tiny delivery guy, my who seemed like he could bounce off walls with his energy.

"Oh— good morning sir! You must be Tsukishima Kei! Just sign here and here so I can go on my merry way!"  The delivery guy talked too fast, and he sounded a bit too cheerful, which irked Tsukishima a bit. After signing, he received the package— it was a box, with his and Kuroo's name as the recipients.  Who was it from? The sender's name was covered a bit by the ribbon, and when he got it out of the way, the sender's name was...

Yamaguchi Tadashi.

Tsukishima felt his heart race out of anticipation.

"Kuroo, come here for a sec."  A familiar bed head pokes out of the bedroom doorway.

"Why? What was that package all about?"

"Just come here," Tsukishima's tone urgent.

"Alright, alright. Kei-chan, it's still morning and you're already a jerk," Kuroo says in a teasing tone, to which Tsukishima responded with a scoff.  "Still love you though~" Kuroo murmurs in the blonde's ear as he wraps his arms around him from behind.  "So, what was the package all about?" Kuroo asked, spectacularly failing to sound casual, curiosity evident in his tone.

"It's from Yamaguchi. For both of us."

Kuroo's eyes widened at the name.  "Y-Yamaguchi? Your ex...."

"Yeah...."

The mention of the name filled the room with silence, the atmosphere thick and awkward.  "Well, let's open it, shall we?" Kuroo says, followed by a nervous chuckle.

The contents of the box were...surprising. There was a lot of food, of chocolates— with almonds, just as Kei liked it. There were also a bunch of decorative stuff, a few trinkets here and there. At the very bottom was a lone green envelope.

"To Tsukishima Kei and Tetsurou Kuroo"  It says on the front, the familiar handwriting sending a pang of painful nostalgia through Tsukki's veins.  Kuroo looks over Kei's shoulders, swiftly snatching the envelope away.  "A letter, huh." Both of them stare at the envelope, eyes full of nervous anticipation.  "Let's read it, okay?" Kuroo looks at Tsukki for confirmation, and Tsukki responds with a tight nod.  Kuroo slowly unfolded the letter, his hands slightly shaking.

> " _To Tsukki and Kuroo-san,_ " Kuroo starts reading, his voice quivering a bit.
> 
> "How are you both? I see that all good things have been happening to you— Kuroo's picstagram captures almost everything you guys do.  And hey, I saw that recent post— congratulations on the engagement!"

Tsukishima's throat tightened, and his heart thundering in his chest.

> "I'm happy for you both, I truly am. And as gifts, I've included a whole bunch of stuff I found interesting here in New York, since my indecisive ass cannot make up my mind about what to get for you guys. Hope you enjoy them!
> 
> In the box are two smaller pieces of paper— one for each of you. The yellow one is for Tsukki and the pink one for Kuroo.
> 
> May you both have a happy marriage. 
> 
> Lots of Love,
> 
> Tadashi

"

Tsukki wasted no time and fumbled around the box for the smaller pieces of paper. He found the pink one first— it was folded in the shape of a cat.  ("Cute," Tsukki thought.)  Tsukishima handed the small paper to Kuroo, who immediately unfolded the paper with delicate motions.

> To Kuroo-san,
> 
> Trust me, I don't hold any grudges for what you did. The situation was just unfortunate for love to bloom, and I understand that. Fate is cruel sometimes, but not always, and I'll continue moving forward just as you two did.
> 
> I wish you both happiness and may you prosper in marriage. Best wishes <3
> 
> Take good care of Tsukki for me, okay?
> 
> Love,
> 
> Yamaguchi

The yellow one was folded in the shape of a star, and "Tsukki' written in the middle. He took a moment to absorb the weirdness of the situation. He hasn't heard from Tadashi for ages— then he suddenly sends a package out of the blue.  He slowly unfolds the paper, conscious not to tear the material in the process.  Inside was another letter.

As Kei read the words of Tadashi's message, tears fell from his eyes, going unnoticed as they streaked his pale cheeks.

> To Tsukki,
> 
> Sorry for disappearing so suddenly like that, Tsukki! I needed a lot of time to think things through. First of all, I want to say I forgive you, Kei. Knowing you, your guilt would be pestering you, and I'm sorry for not contacting you earlier. The circumstances may have been unfortunate, but the mind can't control what the heart wants, I know. You deserve happiness, and I wouldn't want to interfere in that.  Our relationship may not have ended in the best way, but it was a special time to me nevertheless. And now that you've found the one you wish to settle down with, I wish you to be happy, Kei. I'll always be your friend.
> 
> Be happy for me, Tsukki.
> 
> Lots of love,
> 
> Tadashi
> 
> ~~ "I'll always love you, to the moon and back."  ~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the conclusion of "To The Moon and Back". To those who read up to this point, thank for for taking the time to read my work :DDD best wishes to you. If you want, you can DM me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/selene_miraya)


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